Heartless

So.

I already feel self conscious wearing sundresses. Not that I hunch my shoulders  or anything like that. I'm just aware that I am not slim. More so wearing a dress.

I was at a restaurant with some friends of mine. We were discussing what we wanted to order and had decided on the pasta.

Lo and behold, this stranger, decided to be helpful and let us know that the pasta was not a huge serving. And that it might not be enough for me. Yes, he said that. And he looked directly at me. Plus, my lunch companions were on the tiny side so.. 

Sigh.

I was mortified. See what I have to deal with? People look at me and think I must eat a mountain of food.

I politely informed him that it was fine and  later ignored him when he tried saying something else.

I'm sure he thought he was being nice. Or maybe not. Whatever. While I'm not the type to cry over such an incident, it doesn't mean I was not embarrassed by it. I just try to not let it bother me too much.

So I'm not pretty or slim. I know that. I'm finally trying to be ok with my size. That's why I'm trying to wear other types of clothing besides the stuff I'm comfortable with. Like dresses. Especially sun dresses. I like feeling the sun or air con on my bare shoulders. I'm sorry if my not-skinny arms offend you. Don't stare at them then. Or that my butt is huge. Look away. Lol.

OR I could just maybe, get bigger sized friends. Lol.

Colors

I accidentally discovered Yuna while I was in the Dorothy Perkins store last week. "Colors" was playing and I really liked it. Of course, at the time, I had no clue who she was but well, Google is my friend .. and after googling snippets of the lyrics, her name and the song title came up.

And I was surprised to find out that she isn't an American singer. She's Malaysian !!

AWESOME.

Her voice is lovely. She sings beautfully. Have a listen to her song "Colors".

Do you want to build a snowman?

Man, I'd give anything to have snow right now. It has been unbearably hot these past few days. really scorching hot.

And being not skinny, it's hard to wear sundresses .. I am uncomfortable showing my shoulders and generally that amount of upper body skin. My legs are fine. I don't think I have tree trunk legs, well, they aren't supermodel thin (roll eyes) but at least they aren't thick and stumpy.

Anyway, it's been really really hot. I am rethinking my stand.

My yoga pants are comfy. But they are warm. Especially NOW.

So, when Dorothy Perkins had a one for one offer on their cotton sundresses, I ended up buying two.

It's not like I look super fabulous in them. I still look erm, fat. I just don't give a hoot. I choose to not look too long into the mirror when I am wearing any one of them.

LOL.

Of course, my helpful *not* second eldest daughter, asked me outright whether I planned on wearing the dress out of the house when she saw me in it yesterday. HAHAHA. I glared at her and asked her what she meant.

My maid (who I pay a salary to every month) and my eldest daughter (think "blind loyalty" here) .. both said I looked nice. *snort*

I am not delusional.

As I was telling my bestie. Clothes in general, look better on skinny people. ANYTIME. Skinny people look fine in LEAVES I'm sure. Look at the Adam and Eve. They're skinny .. lol.